Self-Care isn't selfish.
Self-care does not stop when you are married. Self-care does not stop when you have kids. Self-care does not stop because of others demands or insecurities. Self-care is forever. Self-care has no age restrictions.
On Mondays we focus on being productive and accomplishing our plans. Let me ask you one question: Does your Monday routine include self-care plans?Yesterday was self-care Sunday; If I asked you if you made yourself a priority, would you be able to answer yes? Or would you answer no that you did not have any self-care plans? Do you struggle to even think of self-care ideas? Have you ever been angry because you did everything you could to make sure everyone around you was taken care of, but then you left your self-care plans on the backburner? You will get to it later. Always later, but later never arrives. This cycle of running yourself on empty will eventually catch up to you and the results could be detrimental.
This was on my mind yesterday as I was thinking of what to do for #self-care #Sunday, and I realized that as a #mom (and MOM - Mom of Multiples) I put the care for everyone else above myself. I am not complaining because I love my family and am happy to sacrifice for them, but I also must remember that I need to make time and take time out or myself to recharge.
Refilling your own cup is not a luxury, it is a necessity. We are going to discuss why self-care is so important, how to make yourself (and self-care plans) a priority, and how to dump the blame game (or excuses), and the let go of the guilt for wanting to take care of yourself.
Many of us grew up being taught that mommy takes care of everyone. Mommy is superwoman because she can handle anything. While it is true that moms have God-given talents, realistically, we are not superhuman. We have the same basic needs as the rest of the family. The problem is that since we have been ingrained to think that we must do it all, we lose ourselves at times and become our titles (wife, mother, daughter in-law, cook, cleaner, judge, etc.). It is essential that we prioritize practicing self-care.
1. Live Intentionally with Self-Care in Mind
I really get my recharge when I can relax, unwind, and rejuvenate. I relax when I am able to get even 20 minutes of pure silence. Quiet time is a precious element of my daily self-care routine. I spend it of quiet time, reading, and meditating on all the blessings that I have received in life. It helps me keep my focus and my priorities.
When you can identify what your needs are, you can make goals and begin to plan out how you will take care of yourself. Talk about your needs with you family and help them to see that you will be better at your titles, when you have become a better, happier, person, who gets the time to renew. The family will likely cooperate because they know that when Mama is not happy, no one is happy. When Mama gets her self-care time, everyone benefits.
2. Schedule Your Self-Care Plans
Failure to plan is planning to fail. If you fail to schedule and plan your self-care, your time will be managed by someone else. Take charge of your daily self-care by scheduling it into your day. It can be in the morning before the kids wake up and you sit quietly. It could be just finding the time to take a refreshing, rejuvenating shower with your scented favorite shower gel. When I used to go to the gym, I had to schedule enough time to get in my workout, stretch, sit in the sauna for 20 minutes, and shower with my favorite refreshing gel. Schedule those plans and show everyone that your self-care routine is a priority.
3. Become Comfortable Saying No
No, Nope, Nah, Uh Uhn, No Way, Absolutely NOT, No thanks, Not today, Not tomorrow, Not this year. You get the point, there are multiple ways to say no, but we again have been programmed to please everyone even at our own demise. Let me tell you a little secret. It is ok to say no. Let me repeat that again. It is ok to say no. You say no to things that are detrimental to our health like drugs. Why would you say yes to the drug of entitlement? Sometimes as moms, our families can get so used to us always saying yes and doing things, that they start taking the drug of entitlement, which is unhealthy for you and them. When you get a request that asks you to ignore what you really need to function, then the answer should be No and include how this would affect you at that time, and that instead you will do the item on your self-care list.
4. Create Boundaries
I had to explain that to my young children, that Mommy needs them to not expect that she was there only to fulfill their needs 24/7, but Mommy is there to protect them, care for them, and train them to be responsible. You have the right to create boundaries that will allow you to replenish yourself. Creating boundaries could be as simple as letting the family know what time of the day you will be unavailable unless there is what you would consider an emergency. Talk to you family, your spouse, your kids, and whoever else may live with you that you need to take care of yourself, then you will feel better when helping them.
5. Find Self-Care Hacks for Busy Moms
Let’s face it, we are busy, busy, and busier. Sometimes just getting my shower is all that I can do for myself. I have learned to find hacks that give you the most bang for your buck in your self-care routine. You can search for self-care hacks for Busy Moms and find a list of things that you can do in little time.
A friend of mine told me something once that stuck with me. She said, "You look beautiful, you should take a picture of yourself, so you can capture the moment." I thought about how I do love dressing up and looking good, but I fail to take my own picture, because I am not vain.
Her point was, that when you can get yourself to look beautiful despite having to care for everyone else, you should snap a picture and remind yourself that you need to take care of yourself also. When you see your progress on your self-care plans, you will be happy that you made the extra effort to take care of yourself.
I have many goals, but I am focusing on one this week. How can I recharge and re-energize myself? I know exactly what to do, and I will do that. What are your goals this week? What are you focusing on? Whatever it is, start today. Monday is a great day to start fresh with a new self-care routine.
You got this mama! Go out, get recharged and conquer those dreams! Grab our new Lavender Rejuvenate Yourself Mystery Box filled with luxurious handmade items that will indulge your senses and motivate you on your self-care and wellness journey. Spoiler alert (your eyes will feel so rested with your hand-crafted scented eyepillow).